You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Tonight’s the night. I have been waiting months for a favorite band to come to town and tonight is the night. Unfortunately, it is cloudy and raining outside, and since the concert is at an outdoor venue, my excitement is a bit dampened (no pun intended). Several hours before the start of the show I received a call from the friend I was going to the concert. He said he was not feeling well and was canceling. Not wanting to attend alone, I thought about skipping the show. After some thought, I decided I would go a little late, miss the opening band, and only watch the band I was excited about seeing. When I arrived at the concert gates, I was informed that due to severe weather, the headline act, the band I came to see went on first and had already finished. Really? I was so angry that I turned around and started to walk back to my car. Before I got to my car, I decided that I had come all this way; I might as well check out the band. I went back to the concert. It was cold and rainy. I flipped my coat hood over my head to block the rain and, to my delight and surprise, I experienced one of the best concerts of my life. The band truly rewarded all the fans who stuck around. I danced with about 1,000 strangers in the rain for 2 hours. It was an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime experience. One that I was just moments away from missing.
Have you ever had an experience like this one? One in which you were expecting one thing and got another? Of course, you have. We all have. Were you able to let go of your expectations and fully experience the new event? Or, were you so disappointed in not getting what you wanted that you could not allow yourself to open up to and appreciate what you got?
Learning how to "accept things as they are, for now" is one of the goals of therapy. It is an example of psychological flexibility and can be learned through Mindfulness practices. We all want what we want. However, we all get what we get, and the two do not always match. We can’t always get what we want, but if we are able to let go of what we wanted or expected and open up to what is, we can experience our lives more fully. If this is something you would like to work on, psychotherapy can help. To schedule a free 15-minute consultation and find out more about me, please go to www.BHCtherapy.com.
Bryan H. Cohen
